Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
