why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
