I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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