She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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