just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My hand turned me down
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize