Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will pee on everything he values.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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