I love black thongs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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