The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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