So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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