Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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