cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just google imaged poop.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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