Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
