I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
