I accidentally had phone sex last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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