I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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