She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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