so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
