So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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