Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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