Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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