Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
