the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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