Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
