I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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