do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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