smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
