Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
