my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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