Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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