too bad you live with your parents still
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize