dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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