You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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