So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
