morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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