I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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