I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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