Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
