He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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