i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
