You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
