He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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