I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
