I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
