Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
A bitchslap is in order.
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