You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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