you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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