I just pynch a tree in the face
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
