How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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