He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize