Sorry, I don't speak sober.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
