i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
