Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
