There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
