Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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