I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize