it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
