she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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