I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
