Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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