you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
