Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
