he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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