We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize